My family is all over the place, both figuratively in terms of stability and literally in terms of several family members being in other states. I have cut off and/or disowned few people and there are people who I will likely not keep contact with if there comes a point where I don't need to see them as often. There are also those I wish I didn't have to cut off; if I gave them another chance, maybe they could get better, but I know that is unlikely to be the case. I never really had the stability growing up to be independent, but I also never had the stability to be taught crucial life skills, which as someone with autism, left me quite a bit more confused, especially when the well-meaning caregivers I had repeated unintentionally harmful talking points. The process that accompanies adolescence of discovering slowly the flaws in the people you've known your whole life has been hard on me as I've witnessed my family fall apart over the years.

I am frequently told some variation of "you can't choose family", but the stability and independence I have managed to find in myself came from my chosen family, and especially my fiance's family. I am incredibly grateful for everything they've done. It's overwhelming, but for once I can finally say I have a functional home somewhere.

Pax and Jude is an excellent webtoon written by Haly Powell, or pinkgrapefriend as she refers to herself online. The use of its themes and name with this song is more tangentially related than anything, but a fair seasoning of the lyrics can be related to Pax's struggles finding acceptance on their home planet and the turbulence they experience while trying to find acceptance elsewhere. On a less deep note, I just felt personally that (largely) non-lyrically, this is the kind of music that fits the webcomic's mood in a lot of places, both in the earlier pages that were more cartoonish in art style and the pages afterwards that take on a more detailed style that also happen to tackle stronger, heavier feelings.

I'm making this single free because I wouldn't really feel good making money off of something that involves the use of Haly Powell's characters and whatnot. The webtoon is underrated and I want attention to be drawn to it more than anything.

TL;DR: I have trust issues. Family can be chosen. Read Pax and Jude on Webtoon.